Emotional Regulation Tips Every Stressed-Out Leader Needs to Know

Let’s be real—leadership is an emotional sport. And if you’re a high-achiever or people-pleaser, chances are you’re not just carrying your workload… you’re carrying everyone else’s stress too.

Deadlines. Team drama. Slack pings that feel like jump scares. And that’s just at work. Outside of work? There’s family, finances, health, and, well—life.

I’m writing this because summer is always a burnout season for me. We spent a week in Wisconsin in June, then had two weeks of houseguests. On top of the travel, I was still trying to juggle work. What happens when you have constant travel and disruption? You lose your routine. No routine = max stress. Case in point: snapping at my family for being late to dinner. Not my proudest moment.

What Is Emotional Regulation (and Why It Matters)

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, manage, and respond to your emotions in a way that helps (not hurts) you and your team. Think of it as your internal thermostat—it helps keep your reactions at a steady, healthy temperature.

When you can regulate your emotions, you make better decisions, communicate clearly, and recover from stress faster. When you can’t? That’s when burnout, blowups, and breakdowns begin to happen.

How Emotional Dysregulation Shows Up at Work:

• Snapping at your team

• Procrastinating because you're panicking

• Over-apologizing or over-explaining

• Doom-scrolling instead of addressing stress

• Beating yourself up for not doing "enough"

  
  

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

5 Quick Emotional Regulation Tips for Stressed Leaders

1. Name It to Tame It

Instead of “I’m just stressed,” try:“I’m anxious about tomorrow’s meeting.”🗣️ “I’m not lazy, I’m overwhelmed.”

Research from UCLA shows that that naming your emotions can lower their intensity. Awareness is the first step to control.

2. Use the 90-Second Rule

According to neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, emotions chemically last just 90 seconds—unless we keep them alive by ruminating. Set a timer. Take some deep breaths and let it pass. Then choose your next best move. The 90-seconds can act like a mini break helping your nervous system recover. Want a specific breath - check out tip #3.

3. Breathe Like You Mean It

Try box breathing: inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. This calms your nervous system and helps you reset. Box breathing is a powerful breathing exercise that can help you focus, make decisions, and mentally prepare for a conversation or meeting.

4. Choose One Small Action

Don’t try to fix everything all at once. When we're overwhelmed, the to do list can feel like a mountain to climb that only increases your feeling of overwhelm. Just focus on doing the next thing, just one thing. You could:

✅ Close your inbox for 10 minutes

✅ Step outside for 5 deep breaths

✅ Ask for clarity instead of assuming

✅ Drink some water or brush your teeth

Motion changes emotion.

5. Reframe Overwhelm

Overwhelm isn’t weakness—it’s feedback. It means your brain is at capacity, not that you’re broken. Ask yourself:👉 “What can I let go of?”👉 “Where can I ask for help?” 👉What is one thing I can push to tomorrow?

Remember, you can do anything (you're smart enough) but not everything (you won't have the time or energy to do it all every day).

Why This Matters for Burnout Prevention

Without emotional regulation, you’re more likely to:

• Say yes when you mean no

• Overthink or shut down

• Snap under pressure

• Internalize failure

  
  

All of which fast-track burnout and wreak havoc on your mental health.

But with it? You can stay calm in chaos, lead with empathy and boundaries, and make choices based on your values, not fear.

Want help building emotionally intelligent teams and burnout-resistant leaders? I speak and coach on emotional intelligence, mindset, and confidence—with science, humor, and real talk.

Let’s make your workplace more human (and less exhausting). Let's do work better.