How to Deal With Rejection Without Losing Your Confidence

Have you been rejected lately? I have and it stung, a lot.

Maybe a client said no. You were passed over for a job or promotion. You got ghosted by a date or potential employer.

As an entrepreneur, rejection is practically part of the job description—but that doesn’t mean it ever stops hurting. At 42, I wish I could say it does, but in my case, it doesn’t. I just learn better tools for dealing with it.

I once saw someone at a dog park wearing a shirt that said: “I eat no’s for breakfast.”

And honestly? I wanted to believe that could be me. But most days, rejection still makes me feel like crawling under a weighted blanket with a pint of ice cream and rethinking my entire career path or whether I'm good enough.

Why Rejection Hurts So Much (Especially for High Achievers)

Rejection doesn’t just sting—it often strikes at the core of our self-worth.

Especially if you’re a high performer, a perfectionist, or someone used to “winning.” Because underneath that “no thanks” is often a deeper fear:

“I’m not good enough.” “I’ll never be successful.” “They didn’t choose me because I’m flawed.”

Sound familiar?

You're not alone. Rejection activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. No wonder it feels like a punch to the gut.

But for your and my sanity, we need to always work on improving our response to rejection. We've got a lot of value to offer and goals to achieve, we can't give up after every "no."

Unchecked rejection leads to burnout, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion.

Many leaders and entrepreneurs internalize rejection as failure, which can trigger overworking, second-guessing, and eventually, full-blown burnout. It can also cause feelings of inadequacy that cause us to distance ourselves from others for fear of judgement or embarrassment - making us feel more alone in our rejection.

The Stats That Nobody Talks About

Let’s normalize rejection by looking at the numbers:

• 95% of job applicants are rejected, often without feedback. That’s nearly everyone.

• According to Harvard Business Review, over 60% of professionals say rejection directly impacts their self-esteem and motivation. Which then makes problem-solving, influencing, and decision-making harder.

• Gen Z and Millennial workers report the highest emotional response to rejection, often citing fear of failure and anxiety around disappointing others.

• Leaders who struggle with rejection are more likely to micromanage, avoid risks, or burn out trying to prove themselves.

And yet... no one posts about rejections on LinkedIn. So it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one not making it. But you’re not.

The Real Cost of Giving Up After Rejection

Let’s be honest: rejection can stop you in your tracks.

Maybe you:

• Don’t apply for the next opportunity

• Avoid pitching your big idea or speaking up in a meeting

• Question if you’re even cut out for your industry or job

• Start shrinking instead of showing up

But the cost of giving up isn’t just lost opportunity—it’s the erosion of your confidence, identity, and resilience.

Rejection becomes internalized. You go from “they didn’t choose me” to “I’m not worth choosing.” That belief for many can then bleed into our personal lives, impacting our relationships.

The Benefit of Building a Resilient Mindset

Rejection-proofing your confidence doesn’t mean it stops hurting.

It means you stop letting it define you.

When you bounce back with self-compassion and perspective, rejection becomes:

• A redirection

• A growth checkpoint

• A moment of information—not identity

Research shows that people with higher self-compassion are more resilient after setbacks and significantly less likely to experience prolonged emotional exhaustion.

How to Pick Yourself Back Up After a Rejection

1. Name the Story You’re Telling Yourself

Did they reject your proposal or are you assuming they rejected you as a person? Separate facts from feelings. Check the story in your head—because it’s probably way meaner than reality.

2. Talk to Yourself Like a Teammate, Not a Critic

If a coworker didn’t land a deal, you wouldn’t say “You’re a failure.” You’d say “Let’s regroup and try again.” Give yourself that same grace. 

3. Remember What You Did Control

Did you show up prepared? Did you take the risk? That counts. You controlled your effort—even if you didn’t control the outcome.

4. Celebrate the Courage to Try

Most people stay safe and silent. They avoid the risk because they don’t want the feeling of rejection. You didn’t. You put yourself out there—and that’s already a win. 

5. Move Forward, Not Backward

Let rejection be a data point, not a dead end.

Ask: What did I learn? What do I want to do differently next time?

Every successful person you admire? They’ve been rejected. Repeatedly. They just didn’t quit after hearing no.

Final Thought: Rejection Isn't the End—It’s Feedback, Not a Final Grade

Stop treating life like a pass/fail or win/lose grade. You’re not winning or losing; you're living this crazy game of life, which is hard.

The next time you hear a “no,” remind yourself: It’s not a declaration of your worth. It’s not proof that you’re not enough. It’s just information, from someone else's perspective. 

And you’re the one who gets to decide what you do with it. 

Let’s Build Rejection Resilience—Together

If you're a high achiever, leader, or organization who's tired of letting rejection crush your motivation and confidence, let’s talk. I'm a coach who has helped hundreds of people bounce back.

In addition, I deliver keynotes, workshops, and lunch and learns on:

• Building a Resilient Mindset

• Becoming Better Than Burned Out

• Leading With Confidence and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Email me at hello@jenndewall.com to talk further.

Jenn DeWall, Mental Health & Mindset Speaker, Coach, and Consultant. I help people struggling with burnout, mindset, and confidence find self-worth and energy again.